After all the posts this month getting into the nitty-gritty details of Fibromyalgia, I thought I would get a little more personal this time, and share my experiences today with a flare-up and some really horrible brain fog.
If you don’t have FM, but are trying to understand what a loved one or friend with the disorder is really going through, here is what a day in the life of an FM patient may look like.
First, a little background. I went through some pretty devastating things in the last 6 or 7 years, including a rape, years of stalking (that is still going on, as I discovered when I updated my LinkedIn profile today), a brain injury that put me on life support for some time (I’m really not sure how long), moving, moving, and moving again. Selling, buying, selling, buying, and selling and buying houses. I got to add PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder to my FM diagnosis, and now am being tested for Hashimoto’s disease because two of my close relatives have been diagnosed with it. A young son who has a digestive disorder of some kind that causes him to vomit up to twelve times a day on a bad day, and who is now restricting his food intake to avoid vomiting.
Best and worst of all, getting a wonderful Service Dog who has been my angel, my savior, my Knight, and now being forced to retire him because of Lupus, Endocrine Pancreatic Disorder, Vitamin B12 deficiency, and a condition in his nails caused by Lupus that required surgical removal of all his nails. He has not worked outside the home for about a year and a half.
Fast-forward to today. I woke at 7:30, let the dog out, fed him, gave him his bowl full of meds, skipped on breakfast because I’m also experiencing an IBS flare-up, and started working. A friend who is going through some really tough issues with one friend having a child that’s been diagnosed with a brain tumor 2 days ago, and another who has a preemie that was born at 28 weeks and now has Meningitis, e-coli, and brain damage. So I decided to do some cooking and make up some meals to support her as she runs around supporting everyone else.
This is where things get fun. Went to her place, had coffee, chatted briefly, then headed to the grocery store. On the way, accidentally turned onto my street, then realized I was going to the store. Pulled out of the driveway, and headed to the store. Went in, and thanks to the help of my son, actually remembered to get everything. Left to drop a few grocery items off at her house, and, yes, forgot where I was going and pulled BACK into my own driveway before realizing I was supposed to make the drop-off first. Back home. Managed to whip up some Gluten-free Baked Ziti, and portion it into two containers. I had other errands to run but decided that this time I WOULD go home for a little while.
After heating up leftover Pad Thai from last night’s dinner, forgot to eat it. Found it cold on the counter about an hour later (whoops). Ended up eating it cold. Fed kids, got meds into my son, and made a list of items to pick up from folks in the neighborhood who had listed items on Facebook that I wanted. So, make my list and head out.
Go to the first house, drop off a wagon I’d borrowed from someone in the ‘hood to transport my dog from my car to the house after his surgery. Go to the third house because I accidentally drove past house #2, and nobody is home. Forget all about house #2, and head home, only to realize as I’m pulling into the driveway that I had one more stop. Drive all the way back, and pick up the item at house #2. I had intended to fill up the gas tank on the way home (tank is running on empty at this point) and pull into the driveway. As I’m turning off the car, I notice the gas gauge, and do about the 10th forehead smack of the day. Decided that I was WAY out there today, and chose to leave the tank on fumes until tomorrow morning.
It’s not always this bad, and in fact, I think this was my worst day ever with brain fog, but it was a great reminder that sometimes you have to call a spade a spade, so I threw in the towel for the day. (well, actually, I didn’t, as I had planned to do a load of towels today, but decided I’d probably forget them in the washer and then they’d stink). So, as far as I’m concerned, I’ll make dinner (probably not on the bbq as planned!) and then chill out. I know my limits. To coin Hercule Poirot’s term, the ‘little grey cells’ simply weren’t willing to cooperate today, and I was tired of feeling confused. So, I’ll cuddle up with my healing Service Dog and my kids and maybe watch a movie later, and appreciate the humor in the brain fog, and know that tomorrow will be a better day.
Do you have any stories you’d like to share about your experiences with Fibro Fog? Post in the comments below, and hope you have a fog-free day!